What goes around, comes around.

I'm not talking about Alicia Keys or Justin Timberlake. I'm talking about Karma. Retribution. I didn't believe. Now that it's happening right in my face, it's freaking me out.

My mom used to disapprove of her mom's (my grandma) way of communicating with other people. "So hypocritic!" she says. It's true. You see, my grandma never sounds sincere when she talks to people. She's never straight to the point and it gives people a feeling of unease...like she always has a motive for talking to you. My mom hated that and she used to scold my grandma a lot because of that. Until recently, she's starting to speak like my grandma too.

Perhaps it's in the genes. Perhaps it's retribution. I don't know. But it is definitely getting on my nerves.

I think I'm becoming impolite, maybe rude, towards my mom lately. Which makes me feel terrible. (I've got a conscience, by the way.) But it's seriously annoying me, the way she speaks. She would say things one way and then act another. Or there'll be an underlying message when she speaks. I hate that. HATE it. Then when I blow my top at her, it frustrates me even more to know that I've hurt her. Fearing what's happening to my mom is actually due to karma, I'm gonna keep my mouth shut from now on. And maybe add a few "orh"s and "mm"s into the "conversation". I know that's not the nicest thing to do either. But I really don't know how else to communicate with her anymore. I cannot shout at her, and can't possibly agree with her. What am I supposed to say?

Argh, I really hate being human. I wonder why the heck would the superstitious Chinese who believe in reincarnation even THINK that becoming a human again in the next life be a good thing. It's SUCH a freaking torture.


好多好多的话想对你说
悬着一颗心没着落
要怎么负荷
舍不得
又无可奈何

12:34 am